‘SHOWER’

This week we watched the movie ‘Shower’ which was assigned to us for our special English course in college.

The movie was based in Beijing, showing the hardships of life and relationships in a family of three people. Although the movie was based in China, it was highly relatable to our own city Bangalore. The film showed a man named Liu Daming who has left his father and younger mentally retarded brother Erming behind in a small town in Beijing while he moves on to pursue his dreams.

Daming doesn’t seem to respect his father for the job of a bathhouse owner. And it’s disappointing how he doesn’t realize the value and efforts of his father for his success until he passes away. The movie is relatable, it shows the transition of ‘old’ to ‘new’. Old being referred to the ancestral values that Mr. Liu has and new being the city life Daming chooses over his family. Daming hasn’t even told his wife about Erming being retarded, that’s how detached he really is towards his family.

The movie has shown the evolution of the new generation and how relationships drift apart. All of this just has to do with the fact that we are all selfish one way or the other. We forget how much our parents and loved ones do for us. For what? Just to get fame and money, but we lose out on the most important part of life- human emotions and relationships. We can’t survive without another person, our ultimate fate is loneliness if we forget how to balance life out.

The movie has looked at a lot of aspects regarding city and town life. The contrasts are portrayed out beautifully. Family, job, responsibility and love are some of the things that really took my notice during this film. This movie was actually an eye opener for me because we forget the true values instilled in us and evolve to become what the atmosphere around us asks for. The real victory is when you are able to retain who you really are as a person in a cosmopolitan and different culture!

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LANGUAGE BARRIERS!

Bangalore has been my home for the past 13 years, and I still don’t know how to speak Kannada. Yes, I know its ‘shameful’ or whatever, my Bangalorean friends keep annoying me over it.

To be honest, I’ve never felt the need to learn Kannada. I’ve been surviving just fine in this city. Yes I can understand a few words and converse in broken sentences, but that is about it!

Apart from the occasional snide comments from auto and bus drivers, I’m pretty much handling living the city quite comfortably. Everyone is pretty friendly and  helpful as well. So I am pretty much okay with remaining Kannada-less!

META!!!

Meta was an interschool fest conducted by the English Department of St. Joseph’s College. It was a 2-day event with more than 15 events on the 27th and 28th of November 2015. These two days, our college came to life. It was colorful and well co-ordinated, enthusiastic students buzzing around our college campus.

The events I witnessed were really amazing. I could make time to watch a few- the Poetry slam workshop by Janet Orlene of the Airplane Poetry Movement; the poetry slam competition; the spelling bee and the quiz conducted by Professor Arul Mani.

The Poetry Slam workshop was my favorite, I learnt so much just by being there for a few hours. It was interesting and insightful at the same time. We learnt a lot about the power of voice modulation and expression. We (the participants) got to perform at the end of the workshop. It was so beautiful how everyone had something so powerful and meaningful to say. The other events were fun as well. Janet made us do interactive sessions and creative thinking, using the space around (basement) to ignite the lamp of imagination within us. We were a set of 15-18 students, who were eager to learn. Although I was a volunteer for this event, Janet encouraged me to take part and interact with the participants. At the end of the workshop, she made us perform a piece of poetry that we ourselves had written on our favorite superhero’s disability. She also gave us a few tips for performing on stage in the future. It was truly a wonderful and learning experience.

What I liked the most about this fest was the fact that school children were a part of it. It brought back many wonderful (as well as terrible) memories. Watching kids walk around in uniforms, it was nice and a nostalgic experience. It was also a good change to see younger crowd mingle with the college students.

🙂

The Balancing Act.

I haven’t been able to write much because honestly speaking, I am kind of running out of thoughts. I am running out of things to talk about. Where half of our country is going crazy over NaMo’s visit to the US, I am sitting here in my room, feeling unproductive as fuck.

To be honest, I work really hard when I want to. And today was one of those days where I finally got myself to exercise after a gap of three months. I feel good about it, I really do. But apart from exercising, I don’t know where my time actually went. I didn’t realise that it is 11 p.m at night, and I have successfully wasted it. When I thought of blogging today, I thought it would actually help me feel better about myself. But it really isn’t right now. Maybe at the end of this post when I have put my feelings with words showering on the keyboard like a drizzle, I might, just might feel better about myself.

So I woke up today and did some power yoga. Not much, just 25-28 minutes approximately. It made me feel good. Active. Then I set my room in order, put away the clothes and set my table. And then I got my laptop out, opened my Chemistry notes and started studying. And then, my trail of thought just wandered. Like a lost puppy. I really don’t know where I went, where my mind was. And by then it was lunch already. I felt terrible for wasting so much time. And I also felt terrible about letting myself get this distracted.

In the evening, I thought some running and weight training might help me focus on today’s plan. But it really didn’t. I think out of 9 hours, I must’ve spent 3-4 hours just Instagramming, Facebooking, Snapchatting or WhatsApping. Imagine how horrible that actually makes me feel about myself. My mind was continuously on my phone and I wasn’t able to get a single thing done.

This makes me come to my point- balancing the day is really important. You need to prioritize and do things the way you had planned to achieve it. Otherwise, it just makes you feel unproductive and silly for having wasted a full 24 hours (or 16/18). Today I was really disappointed with how I let my day go to waste. I didn’t balance it out at all. We have 24 hours in a day, and what’s the point of wasting it when you know you could’ve done so much? How could I have not had any control over my mind? Because every time, you can’t just chill and relax. I think I’ve been doing that for way too long. And it’s time to buck up and do something that will help me think and exercise my mind.

I’m sure many teenagers face the same problem, social media. Today I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I cannot believe that I let my stupid phone waste half of my day. This post is a venting out session, actually. I’m hoping that from tomorrow, I have better days ahead of me where I am able to learn something new. Because honestly, phones just make you damn dumb. I mean what’s even there to learn on WhatsApp or Snapchat or Instagram? Are you really gaining any knowledge?

I just hope tomorrow is a better day for me. I hope I am able to balance out all the things I had planned to do during the day. Or at least achieve half the goals I had set for myself. Actually, I’m going to push myself and achieve what I want.

Ah, I do feel better now. Blogging. *happy sigh*

🙂

Love yourself.

Today’s post is going to be about two things which are pretty interconnected- women’s rights and not being afraid of being yourself. I love reading quotes on Social networking site. Intellectual stuff, artsy stuff. You name it, I would love to read it. I read something on Facebook today, and it really touched me. (info in picture below)

_20150927_230224I am a strong believer of feminism. And I believe respecting women begins with the men. They are the ones who need to be encouraged towards feminism. A lot of people have mistaken Feminism as ‘hatred towards men’. Just remember, that is being sexist by itself. You think men are the only ones who can be sexist? Think again. I am also a part of the HeForShe campaign, a powerful initiative by the United Nations. This encourages men to pledge towards the upliftment of women. I am all in for this initiative. Because life becomes so much easier when there is no battle of the sexes. In India especially, many people need to break free from the stereotype that men are better than women. Who said so? Just because they have a stronger build? Or just because they earn their daily bread and run their families? Well excuse me Mr.Sexist, but you must’ve forgotten that women are capable of showing the same strength, be it any walk of life. Work or family, women can go ahead against all odds. They can put everything they have into whatever they do, and these judgmental jackasses might not be able to achieve half of what women can do and will do.

Coming to the post I read, I feel it is so true. It’s so important to fight back to these harassments. How else will all of this stop? Don’t be ‘NICE’ about it. Don’t tolerate non-sense that would ruin your self-dignity for life. Who are they to comment on your sense of dressing or the way that you walk or the way that you talk to other people? To hell with them. Till you don’t fight back, nothing is going to change. And bringing about change is really important. Don’t let someone else question who you are as an individual.

This isn’t to do with only women, so many people are facing the same. So many distinctions are made based on gender, color, caste, size, social status, the list is endless. Who the hell are people to judge someone else? Who are these people? I am so angry today because it upsets me to see how the world is becoming. It’s just getting worse day after day. And it is high time we do something about it. Every time an auto or bus driver ogles at me, I  stare back. Every time I am driving and some jerk tries to tell me how to drive just because I am a girl, I give it on their faces. Because if you never say anything, this will never stop. They’ll keep messing with you and keep letting you lose your self-confidence. These narcissistic assholes just know how to destroy someone else’s character.

Who are we to judge homosexuals, transgenders, asexuals? Who gave us the authority to make rules for someone else to live by. I mean, back off for heaven’s sakes. This is just purely outraging and unacceptable. LET PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES. STOP INTERFERING GODDAMMIT. Stop being afraid of who you are and stop worrying about what people have to say about you. I know it’s easier said than done and it might be one of the toughest things you’ll have to stand up for, but you just have to do it. Don’t let anyone get you down in life. Ever. No one should have that right to, and no one should ever be able to make you question yourself. Love yourself for who you are. You are not answerable to  anyone. You are allowed to say what you like, do what you like, wear what you like, love who you like, and become who you want to be. Don’t let society and it’s messed up norms bring you down or break your self-worth. Stay happy, be who you want, and above all cherish and love yourself. God has made each of us in a unique way, the least we can do is be grateful for the individuals that we are! 🙂

I hope this post makes you realize just how special and unique you are, and that no one can ever question you for the kind of person that you portray yourself to be. Keep smiling, be yourself! 🙂

Do what you love.

So it’s a  Saturday night. Weekend feels. I check my Snapchat and I see people putting up stories of ‘Party Party Party’. Raving, going crazy. Sigh, how I wish I enjoyed stuff like that. Hahahaha. Not.

My post today is to put across a simple message today- do what YOU love. I’m 19 years old, and I’m already tired of seeing everyone around me succumb to peer pressure. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t gone through it, too. I also don’t mean that partying is a bad thing. I’m not one of those people who judges others based on their activities or habits. I’m someone who would want to understand a person’s actions and then conclude on their character. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I was really judged when I was in school.

The reason why I started talking about parties is because I really can’t face peer pressure anymore. The fact that I have a million people around me who party and drink and do drugs doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m so free to do what I want. And don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against these people. And I never will. It’s a choice, and it should be left as one.  I don’t understand the idea of pulling someone to do the same things as you. Isn’t that why we call ourselves independent?

Even if you are a victim of peer pressure, I don’t believe it is only the other party who is to blame. It’s equally both their faults. Why I say so is that if you are willing to fight against it, you can. No one should have enough power over you to change your belief system. Whether you do something or not must surely remain under your control. It’s so heartbreaking to see kids of my age group doing things they’ve probably been forced into.

No one knows you better than yourself. Why should someone else be allowed to make decisions for you And I’m not only referring to the kids here, this includes parents as well. Your decisions must be in your hands, and no one else should have the authority to distinguish what’s right from wrong for you. And if you’re not able to tell the difference, you’re accountable for it. At least you won’t blame someone else for what’s happening and what are the consequences of your actions.

Why I’ve spoken about this today is, because I was a victim of peer pressure myself. I haven’t gone through any drastic discomfort neither have I done something to destroy my life, but I have made wrong decisions. And I don’t blame anyone else but myself for it. And it’s really important for someone who has experienced to be able to talk about it. I started drinking when I was 18. And that summer, I drank every chance I got. I went out as many times as possible just to drink. And whether I like to admit it or not, I started depending on it at a very early stage. Within a few weeks, I wanted to go out every weekend just to get drunk and ‘have fun’. Within 4 months, I left it because I got sick of it. I just felt that this is not who I want to be. And I chose to stop. No one forced me to do it, and that was my choice. And that might be the only reason why I don’t regret drinking. Had it been under someone else’s influence, my answer might not have been the same.

I’ve faced peer pressure in school. Especially becauseI wanted to ‘fit in’. We were a group of 8 girls, and we were called the ‘snobbish gang’. We always ignored other people, we were cold towards the other girls and we always showed ourselves to be the best. Now that I think about it, I laugh at what a fool I was. Because I was nothing like those girls and I ended up staying close to just 2 of them, who are now my best friends. This is my example of peer pressure. I changed my behaviour just to be accepted. And I don’t respect myself for that decision.

I know many of you can relate to these situations, and everyone has their different degrees of peer pressure. It might be really life changing or just a small incident in your life. But this does not change the fact that you let someone else take that decision for you. Stay strong and stand up to those who bully you or pressurize you. Learn to fight back. And remember, every choice you make must be your choice, don’t let anyone else live your life for you! 🙂

Cleaning out my closet

You know how the leaves of spring turn yellow in the fall? Or how the moon gives way to the sun every day? Or how raindrops freeze to become beautiful white snowflakes in winter? That’s how I feel today. I feel different. I feel renewed, energised. I feel…changed.

I finished my practical exams today, so I guess it is the main reason for my relief. I don’t usually let exams or academics in general effect me, but I know it has a huge impact on me sub-consciously. My parents have never really pressurized me to do well, but I have always felt obligated towards making them feel proud. Academics has never defined me as a person. For me, marks don’t really matter. A lot of people judge others by what they score in a Chemistry or History exam, whether we like to admit it or not.

I’ve faced a lot of failure in life. According to me, I was a good student till the 10th grade. I scored fairly well, did well in sports and danced as well. But then 11th grade happened, and I felt everything came crashing down. I was having issues at school (since I joined a new school for 11th and 12th), boyfriend problems (we are happy and doing really well now), family problems (not major ones, but quite a few misunderstandings), and that affected my overall productivity. I’m sure many of you can relate to this. We all have adjustment issues no matter how much we try and avoid it. For me, my failure wasn’t just about academics, I had just failed myself in the various aspects of life. I know it’s probably silly to say all this because I was just 16 years old then, but it is true.

Whether I like to admit it or not, I am a very emotional person. And I felt really misunderstood, just like many teenagers. It is pretty common, right? But unlike many teenagers, I am thankful that I went through this phase of life. Sure, I might have ruined many memories for myself as a child, but these experiences of failure really changed my perspective towards everything. By the time I finished graduating High school, I had 5 really close friends from a school that I really hated. I had never imagined that this was possible. This phase made my bond with my family and boyfriend stronger. It made my senior school best friends closer to me. And this also helped me make new friends.

What I’m trying to convey through this experience is, that change is very important. You need to expose yourself to different phases of life. I didn’t choose to go through this phase, and sure it did make me feel terrible when I was in it, but in the end it did teach me so much. You need to let go of the past and turn over to a new chapter of life. Treat your life as a journey where ups and downs should be a part of it, otherwise what is the fun in having a life to live?

I accepted these things just very recently. I was in denial up until a few days ago. And trust me, it has been really hard for me. But hey, I survived it and it’s probably much worse for someone else than it is for me, but I am still really proud that I fought it all bravely. Cleaning out your closet is really important because change must remain constant in life. Even if it is in the literal sense. I hope this post encourages you to bring about a change in your life, no matter how big or small it is. And whether it is a good or bad change, it IS going to teach you something at the end of it all! 🙂